For there to be sound one must hear it. A tree fell and no one heard it. Did the tree make a sound?
Think about that and tell me your thoughts on the comment section.
In the meantime let’s talk about My 21 lessons in 21 years.
Ageing is natural and a reminder that we have finite time on Earth. That is why it’s important that we embrace each year with love and hope. We have one life to live and that life has to be accounted for by us.
I used to think that when I get to 21, I will have figured things out, but the truth is, there is no figuring things out, you work with what you have to get what you want.
Does it get easier? The question I always ask.
The answer is No. You become better equipped to handle the situation. Each decision carries a consequence of its own magnitude.
Through the years I picked up some lessons that I would like to share with you, they are:
You need to embrace yourself, your quirks, and anything that makes you stand out.
We are in the season of Game of Thrones and I have been dying to share this. In the very first season Tyrion Lannister meets Jon Snow he calls him a ‘bastard’ which he takes offensively. Later on he offers him advice and tells him,
“Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armour, and it can never be used to hurt you.”
For you to understand others, you need to first understand yourself. Be your authentic self and never apologise for it. You are the only one who is good at being you.
Be the writer of your own story. One bad chapter does not define the whole book.
“Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own“.Michelle Obama
Sometimes this will mean you need to be selfish. You need to be selfish with who you give your time to, peace of mind and space in your life. You should always come first in your list. When a plane incurs damages whilst in the air, the first thing you are told is to put on your oxygen mask first before anybody else’s, because how do you save someone else while you cannot even save yourself.
“Always be true to yourself”.Velda Kiara
2. Don’t apologize for your achievements.
We are always told that you should not flaunt your achievements because apparently you are ‘bragging’. I am here to tell you that if it’s a fact it’s not bragging. You should be proud of yourself, you worked your ass off to get it.
It does not have to be something grandeur, it can be simple like completing that essay, applying for that position or even getting out of bed the next morning after having a rough day.
A tip: always celebrate all your achievements no matter how small, every little thing is a building block for something greater.
3. Have Faith
You need to believe in God (Supreme Being) and yourself. There are going to be tough days where you will doubt yourself and you need to have something to give you hope and strength to keep on going. When push comes to shove remember that God did not bring you this far to leave you now. Pull up your sleeves and handle it like the boss I know you are.
4. Be patient.
I cannot stress this enough but you need to be very patient in all your endeavours.
Patience is an art that we need to learn every day.
All good things always take time. Progress is a journey not a destination. Stop treating the waiting time like a punishment and use that period as a learning period.
Beyoncé prepared for eight months for a two hour performance for Coachella, not to mention that it was an epic performance. Think about that when you do something and expect to see results immediately.
5.Have a plan.
You need to have a road map. We all have them but the problem is we state the goals vaguely. We do not break down the goals to little tasks that will help us monitor our performance.
Road maps will work half of the time. Half, because there will always be detours, and as much as we dislike them they will lead you where you need to be faster than your plan could. Additionally, having a long term goal will help you deal when you need something good going on for you.
Another thing about this is we need to be consistent. Consistency is not easy, doing something over and over again is not fun. Spice things up by doing things differently to avoid boredom.
Sometimes you are going to have to jump. Jumping sounds fun and gutsy until you understand the stakes. Traders have a common saying that the higher the risk the higher the benefits, which is true and good when the outcome is positive.
Jumping is like tossing a coin and hoping the side you chose is the right one.
Before you jump, you need to understand once you do, there is no going back and after you jump you need to be okay with the outcome. Once you truly understand and accept those facts then, even after you take the jump you will not have any regrets.
7. Appreciate people.
You need to appreciate and thank people that do things for you. Acknowledge and thank every person that offers a helping hand. You need to also appreciate everybody you meet. Everyone is a genius in something and you can always learn a thing or two from them. Learn to network with people, your network is your net worth. Every person is an opportunity, you just need to play your cards right.
8.Pursue your passion.
Go for things that set your soul on fire. Love what you do and do what you love every time. Your passion may not necessarily be something you are good at and that’s alright because you are going to be motivated to do the work. As long as you are passionate you will be able to weather the storm because of the fire within.
9.Own your mistakes and failures.
Always take responsibility of your mistakes and failures. Do not run from them, face them head on. The only way to learn from your mistakes is by accepting and taking measures to make it better.
At some point you will fail. Fail seven times get up eight, the most important thing is never give up. Keep on moving by all means.
This encompasses staying teachable, having an open mind and learning every time. Staying teachable means accepting that you do not know everything and having an open mind.
“A mind is like a parachute . It does not work if it is not open”.Frank Zappa
11.You are enough.
Stop being stupid and make choices that actually scare you, in a good way. That opportunity you want to give up because you think you cannot handle it, I need you to take it. If you think you cannot handle it then grow into someone who can. Who says you cannot learn on the job. I say this again, you are enough, I need you to believe in yourself. You are capable.
12.Listen and read instructions carefully.
Learn to listen. Before you start an argument hear the other person and understand their point of view. The world would be so much better if we all took time to listen before we speak. Always listen and read instructions to avoid failing before you start.
You better get comfortable with reading because it never ends. Read all types of things, books, articles and journals. After reading learn to customize what you learn with your situation.
14.Learn to walk away.
I was never one known to walk away from an argument because I loved being vocal about my thoughts no matter what. I later realized that some arguments did not deserve my time.
Silence is also a response. A hard one because it takes strength and perseverance to walk away from an argument. It feels like you are literally choking on your words. Learn to walk away from situations that threaten your state of mind.
“Never wrestle with a pig, you both get dirty but the pig enjoys it”.Bernard Shaw
15.Do not limit yourself.
Under no circumstances are you allowed to limit yourself. Take risks that are worth your time. Have that conversation with your boss of getting a raise or work on that new idea you have.
16.Learn to say no.
Your intuition is never wrong. If you sense something is not right with a particular deal, don’t take it because best believe it’s going to take a huge bite on your back.
Before you say yes to something, think about it, do your research and if it’s legit say the three words, failure to that drop it like it’s hot and move on.
Always give back to your community. This may be in terms of service or skills. Share what you learn with people and mentor those who want to be where you are.
“If you are lucky enough to have done well for yourself, it is your responsibility to send the elevator back down for others”.Kevin Spacey.
Get yourself some loyal friends or as I call them, keepers, who will be your support system.
No man is an island we all need each other at some point. Your keepers should be your cheering squad and people who tell you the truth no matter what because they truly care about you. They should motivate you and challenge you to be better. The first people you call to celebrate your achievements. If you get them, keep them close to your heart, they are rare gems.
This means holding yourself responsible for everything you do.
20.Do not criticize.
When you meet someone the first thing you see is their physical features. You do not see what they are struggling with. Make it your responsibility not to criticize.
“Do not criticize people, they are what we would be in their circumstance”.Abraham Lincoln.
The most important thing is to have fun in whatever you do. Make memories with the people you love.
I pray that after you live your best life and they take you six feet under they will say that you lived your best life, that through the hearts you touched you left a legacy and you left the world a little better than you found it.
Till we meet again.
Remember there is no us without you.veldakarimi.wordpress.com, mantra